the thing is what i really mean

yours are the sweetest eyes i've ever seen

too many days spent stuck in that stuffy office, she thought with a little sigh. cool air was whipping at her hair, drawing it against her cheeks; her cheeks and nose were red from the chilly wind, but she didn't mind so much as the discomfort of it all over her body until she got her clothes on again. she'd promised her staff that she'd be back in time for the lunchtime rush, but it seemed like she wasn't going to be able to keep that promise; when she'd finally pulled her jacket back on over her shirt, she tugged sanguine strands up into a pony tail and brushed the shorter bits out of her face.

recently, she'd been a lot more... anxious. melisandre couldn't have pinpointed why, precisely; the fact of the matter was that she didn't truly care why she was anxious, only that she was anxious at all. her more beastly side tended to be stronger when her emotions were running high and tense; while she was young for an alpha, yes, she didn't think it was mere petty emotions either. if she were to give it real thought - deep, persistent thought - she'd probably discover that her tension came from the fact that the absit metum were getting more active by the day.

it wasn't only dangerous for her, who had no qualms about killing mortals, but also for her pack. while she had no doubt that her family could take care of themselves, it wouldn't be the first time a hunter took down a lycan by their self - and that was what made her gut twist a little, knowing that she wasn't with her companions every second of every day.

a deep enough desire had taken root in her that afternoon that she'd departed from work early. one mild apology had been issued, followed by a snarky response of well, i'm the boss, aren't i? when further questions had provoked it. they hadn't argued much after that, and melisandre had taken off to the furthest outreaches of the city, taking no joy from the ripping pain that came with the transformation but rather in the freedom that it gave her, for the time being.

melisandre startled out of her reverie when she heard the tell-tale rustle of brush. to any regular woman, it would only seem to be an animal wandering through, nothing more than that; but to meli, it was potentially something dangerous, something she might need to dispose off.

and just after i put on my new clothes, too, she thought dryly, turning around and narrowing the red irises that were the give away to her status.

"if you're trying to follow me, you've done a poor job of it," she announced to whoever - or whatever, as the case may be - was hidden in the sparse brush populating the outskirts.

i'm praying that this stairway
leads somewhere like heaven's door

the cold had never particularly bothered him; as a lycanthrope, his natural body temperature ran several degrees higher than the average human anyways. in fact, it was particularly useful in staying conscious and alert. summer was deceptive, warmth often lulling someone into a false sense of comfort and safety. winter though—there was no solace to be found in the icy winds and dying landscape, and that was a reassurance unto itself.

he was carrying two large cups of coffee, one an expresso with four sugars, the other dark roast with cream. the former was his own order, vice for sweets made evident. the latter though, the latter was for melisandre. his day had been free and it was almost lunch break at her office, so he decided to stop by with a treat. it would have been more caffeine to get through the day for anyone else, but their increased metabolisms burned it off too quickly to be of any use.

of course, imagine his surprise when he finally arrived, shouldering his way through the door, flashing a dazzling smile at the receptionist—melody? mallorie?—as usual, only to be informed that melisandre had left abruptly over an hour ago. his grin faltered for a moment before he regained himself, thanking her for her time then leaving. though he played the part of lighthearted, inside, he was worried; it was unlike melisandre to leave work without an explanation. a few steps outside of the office, he found traces of her unique scent—like pine trees and new rainfall, with undertones of the gardenia soap she was fond of. although he was in human form, his nose was still extremely sensitive and he easily tracked her to the edge of the city, where there were tell-tale signs of the change to anyone who knew where to look. when he finally discerned her location, he made sure to walk noisily through the shrubbery as to not alarm her.

"it's just me," he called out softly, casually stepping forward with his arms harmlessly up in the air. she must be somewhat out of it, to both be here in the first place and to not have recognized his scent. "i had coffee, but i dumped it a while ago when it got cold."

then again, it was like that. she had always been rather blind to his feelings for her. he had joined the pack because he owed her a debt; he stayed because she had earned his loyalty. her father was the alpha at the time, but sheridan knew he would have followed her into the arms of any death if she had but asked.

notes -- i'll fix the coding sometime e___e some other time...

the thing is what i really mean

yours are the sweetest eyes i've ever seen

she ought to have known it was sheridan, honestly. it was a complete weakness to have this worry plaguing her mind, causing her mind to become jumbled and loud and noisy; it made her vulnerable, and if there was one thing that melisandre fayne had always demanded of herself, it was invincibility. but now she had that stupid group of absit metum mucking everything up. on the one hand, she knew that they were only doing a job because they believed it to be the right thing. but is right because their superiors tell them to do it? or do their superiors tell them to do it because it's right? she thought with a little sigh.

regardless, finding out it was sheridan was almost as bad as it being a threatening figure. not because she wasn't happy to see sheridan - she was almost always happy to see the other lycan - but because it was embarrassing that she wouldn't know him right away. he'd been with her long enough that she ought to have known; now, he had to know that something was off. she prayed that he would be blessedly ignorant to the cacophonous thoughts running through her mind; maybe, just maybe, she wouldn't have to answer a question that she didn't like.

of course, she could always pull the none of your business card again. meli wasn't fond of that card - she liked to assert her dominance in a wittier way - but if need be...

"'just you'," she repeated, eyes glittering a bit in amusement despite being utterly on-edge. "you say that like you're not important to me." the pinkette rolled her eyes, a crooked smile coming over her face as she tucked her coat more securely around her slender form. she moved forward, wrapping her arms around sheridan in a tight hug; she kept her face pressed into his chest for a moment, seeking some sort of relief from this headache-inducing problem.

meli had always been this way, though; her father had never been the most loving, tender parent, so she had grown up with a desire for affection that was almost a weakness. luckily, she could get most of her fix from sheridan, if he was allowing enough when she wanted a bit of hugging or something.

"i missed out on the coffee?" she asked, pulling back from the hug and frowning at that. "damn. guess i shouldn't have taken that break." she paused, her hands intertwined at sheridan's back still, lips twisting in thought and brows furrowing the slightest bit. "can we go get new coffee? i'll even pay for it this time. but i don't really want to go back to work yet..." although working might have taken her mind off of everything, the idea of spending a bit of the afternoon with sheridan was ten times more appealing.

i'm praying that this stairway
leads somewhere like heaven's door

“‘it’s just me’,” he stated again with a chuckle, “as in, ‘nothing to worry about over here.’” sheridan knew her well enough to to know not to ask about what was troubling her; if he needed to be told, she would tell him. until then, he trusted her to figure herself out and get back on her feet.

“still, it’s nice to be reminded that the princess approves of me,” he teased, opening his arms to embrace her in turn, fingers sliding through roseate tresses to cradle the back of her skull with one hand while the other curled protectively around her waist. then, he leaned down and rested his chin at the crown of her head, humming in a reassuring manner. it’ll be okay.

the fact of the matter was that her being on edge set him on edge too. she never worried without anything without due cause; unnecessarily , perhaps sometimes, but never without cause. when she did get like this, all sheridan ever wanted to do was to wrap her up in blankets until she looked like a ridiculous snowman and tuck her into bed until she felt better— irrational instincts that he quelched with the ease of long practice. she didn’t need anyone to coddle her.

”you did. it smelled good this morning too. he shuffled a bit to accommodate the position that she decided on. at this proximity, she smelled even better, woodsy like warm earth that suddenly made his human skin seem too tight; it’s been a while since he has shifted and it was starting to wear at him.

in sheridan’s mind, there were two distinct periods in his life—“before melisandre” and “after melisandre.” before would be all the time he spent wandering aimlessly, in wolf form more often than not. his aversion of shifting stemmed from this, because he remembered what it’s like to have nothing. after began with joining the pack, through watching her get older, supporting her when she killed her miserable bastard of a father.

”yeah, let’s go. maybe grab something to eat too. i’m craving banana bread.” he was always craving something sweet. it was a good thing that he had such a high metabolism as a lycanthrope because otherwise, it would be extremely hard for him to burn off the calories that his sweet tooth often indulged in. being unable to contract disorders like diabetes was also a bonus. he laughed, ”you don’t have to pay. i just wrapped up a job. i have cash in spades right now.”

a lot of the work he did wasn’t strictly legal, but then again, it wasn’t as if someone like him could sustain a regular job anyways. it paid well and he liked having flexible working times so that he could be on call if anyone ever needed him; specifically, if she ever needed him.

notes -- i am so, so sorry this is so late.

the thing is what i really mean

yours are the sweetest eyes i've ever seen

that's what she liked about having sheridan around, meli realized; certainly she could claim that she held some affection toward him, and that would be true, and also that he meant something to her, but in truth she rather adored that he didn't push things. there was no need for her to feel like she had to explain her every movement to him because she didn't - he knew better than to push for information, which was more than could be said for a lot of their pack, who sometimes forgot that meli was ten times more kind than her father ever was but that she also was jus as likely to rip your face off if you bothered her.

truth be told, having sheridan ask her what was bothering her wouldn't have irritated her all that much. it was different with sheridan; he wasn't being nosy whenever he asked, just curious and concerned, because she did sort of a poor job hiding her worry over things. of course, almost everything was different with sheridan; he was the exception to nearly every one of her rules.

"princess," meli repeated, her eyes glittering with amusement and an expression of mock hurt crossing her face. "is that what you think i am? i don't even have a tiara or anything. ludicrous." in fact, the comment pleased her - it was evident from the warmth in her cheeks and her crooked smile that it did - but she swatted his chest playfully all the same. it was a requirement, she though with bemusement - reckless or insulting talk should never go unchallenged.

companionably, she slipped from his arms and instead grabbed his hand, making her way out of the outskirts and back into the small but bustling city of astraia. easy, meli thoght briefly; it was easy with sheridan, to lace their fingers together and walk like they had been doing this their entire lives. which, they might as well have been.

"oh, you're craving a sweet food?" meli asked innocently, her voice thick with sarcasm as she tilted her head in his direction. "that's so different from every other day. luckily i love you, and you've got some ridiculous metabolism that keeps you trim, so it's alright." grinning, she gave his hand a squeeze and slipped into one of her favorite little coffee shops, surveying the menu even though she already knew what she wanted.

"a venti bold with cream," she told the cashier, and then looked at sheridan expectantly. the thought of it - easy with him - whispered somewhere again in the back of her mind, but she tried to ignore it.